Problem-solving is not always listening

My instinct is to solve the problem.

It is useful at work and not always useful with people. Sometimes the other person is not asking for an answer. They are asking to be understood before the conversation moves anywhere else.

Jumping directly to a solution can make efficiency feel like dismissal. It says, unintentionally, that the discomfort is an obstacle to remove rather than an experience worth hearing.

I am learning to ask a small question before acting: do you want help thinking through this, or do you want me to listen?

The answer can change the entire conversation.